


Edward! Stop Playing with Your Balls!

by Penguina



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Edward is a dramatic little bitch, Edward the dog - Freeform, M/M, Oswald has a dog, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-30 02:35:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15742392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penguina/pseuds/Penguina
Summary: Oswald has a new dog. Edward isn't pleased that the dog's name is also Edward.Inspired by the picture of Oswald with his new dog in season 5 :D Finally our little bird will receive the unconditional love and loyalty he deserves! :')





	Edward! Stop Playing with Your Balls!

**Author's Note:**

> Despite the whimsical title, there's no smut in this story ;D
> 
> Thank you to [Boossuet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boossuet/pseuds/Boossuet) for being a great beta

“Who’s the good boy? Such a good boy! Yes! Yes, you are! Edward! Edward’s the good boy!” Oswald grinned at the dog, stroking behind his ears and enjoying the unconditional love of his new pet. “My good boy!”

Edward arched an eyebrow. “Why did you have to name him Edward? It’s not even a proper dog name.”

Oswald straightened up and looked aloof and unreachable when he turned to Edward the Human. “Why are you complaining? I thought your name was Riddler. I didn’t name my dog Riddler.”

“Oh, thank God for that!” Edward exclaimed.

“So what do you want?” Oswald asked, taking a seat behind his huge desk, the little dog jumping excitedly onto his lap at Penguin’s command. Edward watched them as the pet settled comfortably while Oswald continued to stroke his head. He couldn’t believe his eyes. Somehow knowing that this dog had his name was making him feel uneasy.

He cleared his throat. “So I came here to-- I came to-- I wanted to-- Oswald, will you stop playing with your dog and listen to me!”

Oswald looked up innocently, his fingers freezing in little Edward's fur. “What. I was listening,” he insisted.

Edward pursed his lips. “Your dog is looking at me kinda funny,” he said, voice dropping an octave.

“No, he’s not. He’s the sweetest cutest most loving creature in the universe!” Oswald cooed and the dog started wagging his tail and jumping excitedly in Penguin’s lap. Oswald seemed equally excited when he wrapped his arms around Edward the Dog.

Edward rolled his eyes at the display. “Is this really necessary?”

“Okay, Edward. Behave in my lap now. We don’t want any trouble,” Oswald said but his warning was devoid of sternness.

“WHAT!” Edward gasped, outraged.

“I was talking to Edward the Dog, Ed,” Oswald said, giving Ed a look, and then sharing a conspiratory glance with the dog.

“This is ridiculous. If he’s Edward the Dog what does that make me? Edward the Human? Edward the Nygma?"

“Actually, that’s not a bad ide--” Oswald mused.

“It’s a terrible idea! I demand you rename that dog at once!” Edward insisted. He felt childish for his request but this couldn’t go on like that.

Oswald inhaled and exhaled slowly. He looked really annoyed. “Don’t be an idiot,” he finally said. “My dear boy Edward is the best dog. That’s his name. It has nothing to do with you. So be a good boy now and either tell me what you came here for, or I’ll ask my loyal Edward to rip your arm off.”

Human Edward looked the dog in the face and his eyes went a little wide. There was something in that bloody dog’s stupid eyes, they looked like he knew what Oswald was saying. That little dude really could rip someone’s arm off at Penguin’s command.

Edward swallowed. “Alright. Fine. Whatever. You have a weird thing for having two of the same name. Like when you used to have two Victors. Only this is worse.”

Oswald chuckled a little. “Are you saying I have two Edwards now? Does that mean you’re my Edward too?”

Edward froze. He hadn’t looked at it from this perspective. He pursed his lips. “That’s not what I-- Clearly you’re making fun of me.”

“Am I?” Oswald grinned, batting his eyelashes at Edward while his hand still stroked dog Edward’s adorable head.

“You’re impossible, Oswald!” Edward huffed.

“Besides, you’re blowing this out of proportion. It’s not such a huge problem for you that my dog is called Edward.” Suddenly the dog became restless in Penguin’s lap, twisting and turning in a strange way that Edward the Human couldn’t quite understand until Oswald exclaimed exasperated, “Edward, stop playing with your balls or I’ll have them cut off!”  

Nygma made a painful face and Oswald sighed. “Just tell me why you came to me,” he said, ignoring Edward’s other concerns.

Edward sucked in a deep breath and then said, “Why did you save me? Or to be exact, why did you force Strange to revive me?”

Oswald tilted his head. “You were my friend once. I want to keep you around.”

“What for?”

“You’ll find out in due time,” Penguin announced.

“No! I need to know now!” Edward insisted, slamming his hand down on the table.

The dog instantly jumped in Oswald’s lap and started barking angrily at Edward, causing him to startle.

“Shhh, it’s alright, my darling. Mr. Nygma knows not to be stupid around us,” Oswald told the dog. Obeying instantly, Edward the Dog relaxed in Oswald’s lap once again. Oswald praised him again and then smiled at his human companion. “You were saying?”

“Can we talk without the dog?” Edward asked, exasperated. He already knew the answer to that question.

“I’m afraid that’s impossible,” Oswald said, glancing at his new pet with loving eyes. “Edward and I are quite inseparable. You can’t have one without the other. I don’t think I could be without Edward. Or if there would even be a point in that. And I believe Edward feels the same.” He looked up again. Their eyes met.

Edward swallowed and felt his cheeks heating a little bit. “Thanks. I got my answers,” he said, smiling softly. “And yes. I’m pretty sure Edward feels the same.”

That said, Nygma winked at Oswald and Edward the Dog, then turned around theatrically, leaving Penguin’s gorgeous new office. He had a feeling he’d be visiting here more often from now on.


End file.
